Two Ninja Go To IKEA
by Candaru
Summary: Kai and Zane are sent on an errand to IKEA. Kai is restless and easily distracted. It's pretty clear where this is going. (Oneshot, semi-sequel to Fight Me, takes place S2-S3ish, no slash, rated for safety.)


(A/N: This oneshot was brought to you by a prompt from platonic-love0 on tumblr! ...which was actually added onto my original prompt from seasonal-brotp-prompts... can you write a fic off a prompt off your own prompt? WHATEVER, here it is. XD This is sort of a sequel to Fight Me [not the angsty sequel haha], so although it's a free-standing fic it might not make sense if you haven't read that one. As such, I guess this fits into the timeline between S2 and S3? Ish? *Ahem* Anyway... as usual, s'all platonic, have fun, hope u enjoy :P)

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"This store is so HUGE!" Kai groaned, passing yet another set of bunkbeds without so much as giving them a second glance. "We're never gonna find what we're looking for!"

"As I recall, you were the one who refused the notion of accepting help," Zane replied to his brother with the smallest shadow of a smirk on his face. "I would be more than happy to start looking for a sales assistant, if you are ready to accept the fact that we need one."

"Never," Kai muttered, but his voice was less assertive than it had been before. He and his brother had been searching IKEA for hours, and though they had found some small parts that Jay had asked for, they couldn't seem to find the biggest item on their list: a special kind of swiveling chair for Nya.

"Zane, you're a nindroid," Kai said, climbing up onto the top bunk of a nearby bed and looking down at the white ninja, "can't you scan the store for what we're looking for or something?"

Zane shook his head. "The most I can do is scan for living entities. Such as—"

"A sales assistant, I know. Thanks but no thanks," Kai finished. He flopped down on the bunk melodramatically. "I'm gonna take a nap. Wake me when you find Nya's chair thingy."

Despite himself, the white ninja smiled a little at his brother's antics. "I do not think store regulations allow that," he said.

"Regulations are just fancy rules, and rules were made to be broken," Kai shot back, not getting off the bed.

"Actually, a 'rule' is one of a set of explicit or understood regulations or principles governing conduct within a particular activity or sphere. Therefore, it is highly questionable to assert that rules are made for the purpose of being broken," Zane continued in a matter-of-fact tone. Kai only grunted in response. Zane paused.

"The sooner you get down from there, the sooner we can resume our search for Nya's item. Then we can head home and you can rest on your own bed— although knowing you, that is an unlikely occurrence," he pointed out.

"Ha-ha," Kai replied, but he hopped off the bed nonetheless, carefully fixing his spiky hair where it had been smushed against the mattress. "So where to next?"

"Well, we followed that sign from earlier stating that this was the chairs department, but considering we have seen nothing but beds for a while now, that signage may have been incorrect. I say we go back and take another look at— Kai?" Zane paused from his monologue and looked around to see that the red ninja had walked down the aisle and was already engrossed in tracing the pattern on some children's mattresses.

"I heard ya, I heard ya," Kai reassured as he saw Zane approaching him, although the tone in which he said it implied that his statement might have been a falsehood. He continued to trace the flame pattern absentmindedly.

"You know those sheets are far too small for you," Zane pointed out. Kai shrugged.

"I know. I just like looking at 'em. It gets boring in here."

Zane was about to point out that Kai was doing more than looking when a sales associate suddenly noticed the boys and started heading in their direction.

"Hello, do you need any—" he started, but before he could even finish his sentence, Kai cut him off with a "nope!" and started walking away quickly.

"As stubborn as ever," Zane sighed as the boys exited the bed department.

Kai didn't appear to notice the statement, as his attention was suddenly caught by something up ahead. "OOH! LOOK! SWINGS!"

By the time Zane looked up, Kai had already started rocking back and forth in one of many large outdoor swings which were set up on display. It wasn't against the rules to do so, per se, but the velocity and speed which he was building up was… concerning.

"Kai, I really do not think—" the more responsible of the duo started, but stopped when he realized the futility of trying to contain the boy's energy. Briefly, he wondered how the others were doing back on the Bounty. They'd all been assigned chores, as well, but it was hard to imagine that any of them were having as much trouble as the errand-runners were.

"Okay," Zane said, noticing yet another worker passing by and worried that they might spot Kai's rambunctious behavior, "that's enough for now." Kai, thankfully, caught onto his tone, spotted the worker, and acquiesced.

"I wonder if a swing like that would fit onto the Bounty," he mused as the two walked through rows of outdoor swing sets.

"Not that we would have a chance to afford it, anyhow," Zane pointed out. They quieted themselves as they passed another employee— out of habit, perhaps— and then continued their conversation as they made their way back to a large, confusing, and rather unhelpful diagram of the store.

"I mean, come on, it's a swing! I think it'd be a good investment," Kai said, and continued to ramble about the matter for a bit while Zane studied the map. He wasn't anywhere near Jay's level of blabbering, but he could go on for a while if someone got him fired up over something— or if he was particularly bored, as was the current situation.

That is why it was only by Kai's silence that Zane eventually noticed his friend had left while he was attempting to decipher the code that was the diagram in front of him. He looked around, and then frowned upon not immediately seeing a streak of red engrossed in one piece of furniture or another.

"Kai?" he asked, looking left, then right, then left again. (He also looked behind him, just in case the red ninja was playing a prank.) "Kai!" he repeated when he got no answer.

"Hey, Zane! Come in here!" a faint voice called from around the corner. The nindroid wasn't sure whether to feel relieved at the voice, or concerned due to the mischief in the tone of voice used. However, he followed instructions… and was greeted by a confirmation that his concern hadn't been unfounded.

On a desk that came from who-knows-where (as the desk department was nowhere nearby), the Ninja of Fire stood eagerly, clearly ready to launch himself into a jump. By following the direction of the ninja's sightline, one could see the destination he was attempting to reach was the top of a rather tall bookshelf, set quite far back from where he stood, but perhaps not _too_ far for a ninja to reach.

"Kai, no," Zane said quickly, fast-approaching the boy who glanced back in annoyance.

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun! I'm not gonna knock over anything," he said in a not very convincing tone (although he didn't, Zane noticed, immediately perform the jump, despite having had time to).

"Kai, get down from there," the nindroid commanded, trying his best to sound like Wu. Although, on second thought, that might not have been the best idea, considering how often Kai listened to Wu's instructions. "Please," he added quickly.

Kai hesitated. "Aw, you're no fun," he said, still looking unsure of whether or not he was actually going to perform the jump. Suddenly, Zane's attention was caught by Kai's left hand, which was fidgeting with his hoodie (the ninja had worn their casual clothes for the sake of not drawing unnecessary attention; Kai did that enough without being recognized as a ninja). Something clicked in the ice ninja's brain.

"Kai, you're fidgety," he pointed out, quite literally, by directing a finger at the hand that was rubbing the red cloth. Kai froze and quickly straightened himself into a normal position, dropping his hands to his sides.

"No I'm not," he said, clearly lying. A shadow of either fear or embarrassment— maybe both— was displayed on his face.

"Yes, you are," Zane retaliated, and smiled to himself, knowing that the problem was already as good as solved. He'd studied Kai's habits for a while now and was honestly rather proud of himself for being the best out of his brothers at handling him. Even Nya had complimented him on it once, when he'd talked Kai out of lighting the oven with his fire powers.

Kai gave feverish glances back and forth, apparently worried that some weirdo customer would see him back down from the feat and care for some reason.

"Come here," the blond-haired boy coaxed, putting one hand in his hoodie pocket casually and extending the other to Kai. It was somewhat gratifying to see that although Kai hesitated, he seemed to know what he'd end up doing. Zane was happy to see the boy starting to let go of some of his pride.

"You're no fun," Kai muttered again under his breath, but he nervously took Zane's hand with his own and allowed himself to be lowered from the desktop. His face turned slightly red as Zane smiled and gently reprimanded him, not letting go of his hand as he did so.

"If you need help, you can just say so," the white ninja said knowingly, in the kind of voice close friends use when they're talking about something nobody else was there for. "Someday you're going to hurt yourself trying to draw attention."

"I was just bored," Kai mumbled quietly, more so to convince himself than to convince Zane, it seemed. But that didn't matter at the moment.

"Anyway, I think I finally figured out how that map works," Zane explained, "so if we go back and give it another look, we should be able to find Nya's chair and then get out of here." Kai merely nodded in response. The boys headed back to the map, and once they'd figured that out, to their destination.

They got the chair they needed.

Zane didn't let go of Kai's hand for the rest of the trip.

Miraculously, Kai stopped wandering off.

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(A/N: Kai no stop it don't act like a self-insert ur bringing up embarrassing memories *AHEM* thanks for reading, and double thanks to anyone who left a review on Fight Me and therefore gave me enough validation to keep writing! Also I apologize to my SDLPC readers, I swear I'm still working on it I just like doing shorter projects in between chapters X'D)


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